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For those who don't know, I have an anxiety disorder, have had it since I was 10. Not traumatized or anything, only thing it does to me currently is make me take a lot of meds to keep my ass from having anxiety attacks. My problem is more the time it took away from me. I didn't get to grow up like most kids. Went to small schools with therapists, didn't get much social interaction. This might be the reason that I sometimes almost feel younger in part of myself. Sometimes I almost feel like I'd like to be 10 (or at least younger than now) again and try it all again. I like the idea of living my life younger, my hobbies, my appearance, the people I hang out with, all that be of a younger theme. I mean I can function as an adult and all, but I can't help but feel this little feeling sometimes something's gone wrong, and there's some living I forgot to do.
Revelations on my Generation.
I'm starting to realize I'm starting to dislike my generation, not cause of what old people say. Not cause I think we're lazy or entitled or killing applebees like Wall Street Journal Says, but I feel like our generation were close when we were young.
We fucking cared about shit, we cared about ending wars, we wanted to change the world, we were the kids who were gonna change shit. Now we're a bunch of losers who weren't ready to be adults in capitalism and instead of continuing to fight, we got depressed and sat around crying for help and making stupid jokes and memes about it.
We stopped trying to think critically about things, we stoppe
Feeling better from the last journal
Sorry bout that, it was late and I was feeling like crap.
I don't remember the last night I felt this low.
It's been 4 years since I felt my best, it's been slowly downhill from there. I miss Cori, I miss that girl, she was my best friend, and ever since she cut me out of her life I've been going downhill slowly, very quickly this year.
I miss a lotta friends who have left me, I miss a friend who I love dearly who I have trouble letting go of, "Dove" we'll call her, I've been trying to be respectful and give her space cause I fucked up, but shit, I have a lot of people who keep leaving, and it's like, each missing piece is just another painful empty part of me I struggle to fill.
The last year has just been a big downward spiral, I feel like I'm
SEND ME SOME VALENTINES MOTHAFUCKAS
Send me one, send me 50, send me your 18 year old niece tied up in a box, I don't give a shit, show me love, and I'll show you love ;3
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I can definitely relate! I definitely feel like my anxiety disorder took away a lot of my high school experience and when I hear everyone blissfully reminiscing their HS days, I get very jealous/sad. It can be hard to have a chunk of your life taken from you over something you have no real control over. The key is to realize that your life is in check NOW, or hopefully getting there, and that's what you have to work with. Crying over spilled milk will only waste the little time you have. Try not to over analyze because that not only facilitates copious amounts of anxiety, but makes things a much larger deal than they are.
TLDR: Don't worry, be happy
TLDR: Don't worry, be happy